It’s too late in my life to learn how not to do everything at once.
12 years ago, I got a new job, ended a long-term relationship, and moved into my own apartment in the span of a month. 9 years ago I moved cross country to a city I’d only been to once having no idea what I was actually doing. 4 years ago, I quit a job, got COVID, sold my house, started a new job all within 1 month, and then moved in with a friend for 2 months before moving into another apartment. And here we are in 2026: I’m going to move BACK across the country in a matter of months while gas prices soar and AI apparently makes more and more of us redundant. I don’t have a place to live yet. Unsure about my job, too. But I know I need to … go.
A lot of this has been instinct. Some of it is just honed. (After all, I drove cross country at 18 to a college in a New England state I’d never visited; and I had never been east of Ohio.) My contrarian nature and PTSD really are a dynamic duo. I also have big feelings about vibes. I used to jokingly use the word “vibes.” I don’t joke anymore. I use it meaningfully. And the vibes are off. Big time. So … you know … girl, bye.
I’ll choose to say more about my time in Rhode Island at another juncture. A lot of it has been good and let me do things like meet amazing people, swim in the ocean a lot, visit people regularly I hadn’t been able to for a long time, and even turn 50 surrounded by nature and great friends. The not good are things we have all experienced but there are some stories that are doozies.
One arena in which the vibes have never been off and where I continue to do everything all at once with no regret: releasing the Little Deaths books into the world and into the hands of those who want to read them.
It’s a small endeavor (no pun intended). And each of these volumes takes a lot of time. But with that comes a lot of respect for the folks who help me make them a reality and the people who read and support my work.
I have a difficult time considering myself a writer. In this culture, we seem to equate that with publishing BOOKS with BIG PUBLISHERS and ASPIRING TO BE AN IN-DEMAND NAME. I have ambition, but not that particualr ambition. Also, I’ve worked in book publishing, magazine editing, public relations, marketing, and communications. I am way too familiar with the machinery.
But I am, indeed, a writer. And I am proud to have a body of work that now includes four of these little books about death. They may share my stories as a basis, but what I love most is the dialogue they create with other people. We share so many experiences. We find common ground and learn from each other.
So here we are after more than five years between books, and a new one has finally emerged. It took many helping hands, it took patience, it took not yelling at a printer, and it took a new website. Also, it took some serious thinking about the accompanying playlist. I hope you’ll go look at the Player One page and learn a little more about it.
Thank you especially to Wayne, Ryan, and Erin for all of their support, effort, and love. The vibes are never off with y’all.
Maybe I shouldn’t “release” a book while trying to pack, parse, plan, panic (just a bit), and look so far down the road. But I’ll never be able to just do one thing. So here we go.
Current listening: https://youtu.be/P_i1xk07o4g?si=DSbrszCnMfp6hLSD.
Leave a Reply